Why Can’t Anyone Motivate Me?

When it comes to motivation, you might think this requires giving something to someone else that pumps them up (like a pep talk, a bonus, an ultimatum, etc). But motivation actually comes from the inside of a person. It’s a person’s own desires and energy that fuels action.

photo credit: Calidenism via photopin cc

photo credit: Calidenism via photopin cc

You can’t actually motivate someone else. But you can influence the motivation that already exists inside of another person in order to help that person get something done.

People possess internal motivations like worthy causes, values, beliefs, interests, and fears. Everyone has a complex array of forces that steer them in a certain direction. As you learn each person’s internal motivations, you can speak to those issues in a way that encourages them to move forward.

Excellence Is An Attainable Goal

I’d like to talk to all of the student leaders in the room for a moment. (Everyone else can listen in if you’d like).

As a student leader, you bring a unique set of strengths, abilities, and weaknesses to the table. You may or may not feel like you possess the “leadership” gene. But the one quality each and every student leader can demonstrate is excellence.

photo credit: anjan58 via photopin cc

photo credit: anjan58 via photopin cc

Excellence is within your reach if you are willing to pursue it. You may not be the best, but you can definitely do your best. It is when you do your best that your effort stands above the masses who are satisfied with mediocre.

How To Do One Thing For 90 Days In A Row

90DD_ebookimageJanuary 1 is such an exciting day. Sooo many people are all geared up to make changes. They start writing. They start working out. They start eating vegetables. They start…

Then there’s January 11. Not such an exciting day. And not very many people doing what they set out to do on January 1.

Why can’t we find the self-discipline to do the one thing we promised ourselves we would do?

It’s because we don’t have a plan. We don’t have a framework to follow. We made a decision but we have no idea how to manage that decision.

Today I’m releasing a new free ebook entitled, 90 Day Decision.

I wrote it for you and for me. I wrote it because I wanted to share the framework I’ve developed to do something for 90 days in a row.

The world is full of people who make a decision but can’t get to Day #11. Why is that?

In 90 Day Decision, you’ll discover:

  • The power of making a plan and following a plan.
  • What role pain plays in our decisions.
  • How to make a promise that lasts.
  • How to find joy and celebration in the journey.
  • A step-by-step guide from Day #1 to Day #90.

I have made my own #90DayDecision and am currently on Day #33 of another one. You can do this. You need to do this.

Here’s what I’ve received after doing one thing, for 90 days, in a row:

Confidence – That feeling that comes from pushing yourself and sticking with something through all of the obstacles. Having discipline in this one area fueled my discipline in other areas of my life.

Credibility – When people see I did something for 90 days in a row, they want to know how…they want my help and advice.

Growth – The journey changed me. I was so much better on Day #90 than on Day #1. Plus, it created growth and momentum in other areas of my life.

Are you ready to make a 90 Day Decision? I believe you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish when you make this kind of decision.

One Thing + Everyday + For 90 Days + In A Row

Download 90 Day Decision

Self-Discipline Isn’t Multiple Choice

If I’m going to take a test, I like to take multiple choice tests. That way I know the correct answer is there…somewhere. Even if I don’t know which one is correct, I can still guess.

multiplechoice

But self-discipline isn’t a multiple choice test. It’s a True / False test. I either have it or I don’t. I either do what I’m supposed to do or I don’t. It’s not about options. It’s about making a decision and then managing that decision on a daily basis. I either do or I don’t.

Let me back up a bit. Self-discipline is the ability to keep the promises we make; especially those promises we make to ourselves.

Personal fitness expert, Craig Harper says it this way:

“Self-Discipline means dealing with our fears.
It means overcoming laziness, apathy and our poor attitude.
It means doing the things we don’t feel like doing (but know we need to).
It means persevering when most won’t.
It means doing what’s required; not what’s popular, convenient or easy.
It means creating different standards for ourselves.
It means moving from procrastination to pro-activity.
It means controlling our emotions (not the other way around).”

Self-discipline isn’t really about choices at all. It’s about doing. It’s about finishing what you start.

Self-Discipline Isn’t Automatic

Miranda Lambert has a song out entitled, Automatic. You can watch the music video below.

The chorus of her song seems really appropriate for this next post on self-discipline. It goes like this:

Hey what ever happened to waiting your turn
Doing it all by hand, ’cause when everything is handed to you
It’s only worth as much as the time put in
It all just seems so good the way we had it
Back before everything became automatic

I’m a big fan of tools and technology that can actually carry some of the heavy lifting of my everyday tasks. That’s the beauty of those things…right?

Yet, there’s a growing sense of entitlement that often demands that things should be handed to us, given to us, or awarded to us – without much effort on our part. This idea is completely foreign to notion of self-discipline.

Self-Discipline Isn’t Emotional

“But I don’t feel like it.”

I don’t know how many times I’ve said that, heard that, or read that when I challenged someone to follow through on their promise.

How much of our life is directed by our emotions? How many times do we default to our feelings instead of our commitments?

Photo Credit: kaneda99 via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: kaneda99 via Compfight cc

I’m learning that self-discipline challenges me to take my emotions out of the equation. It’s not that emotions are bad or evil. They’re just fickle. They change all the time. And when I make a decision with the full support of my emotions, those same emotions often come back to fight against the very decision they supported.

I just can’t trust them.

Self-Discipline Isn’t Convenient

Self-discipline sounds a lot like punishing myself.

It’s all about sacrificing what I want to do for what I have to do. It’s “making myself do the thing I have to do, when it ought to be done, whether I like it or not.” (Huxley).

convenientpath

Back in June, 2013, Time ran an article that described a study showing that Self-Disciplined People Are Happier.

“…the researchers found a strong connection between higher levels of self-control and life satisfaction. The authors write that “feeling good rather than bad may be a core benefit of having good self-control, and being well satisfied with life is an important consequence.”

The good news is you and I can learn to become more self-disciplined. We can get better at it. It can be developed, but it has to be developed from the inside out. 

Five Irrational Fears That Keep Us From Moving Forward

If you are a human being (which means all alien beings can stop reading now) then you are going to experience fear. Fear is emotion – raw, unfiltered anxiety that has evolved over time to protect us from the painful and maybe fatal situations we encounter.

Rational fear is good fear. It protects us. It is a healthy fear that keeps us from putting ourselves into the path of unnecessary danger. For example, we don’t jump the fence into the lion’s den at the zoo. We don’t stick our hand into the burning logs in the fireplace.

Healthy fear is like wisdom’s cousin. (tweet that)

Photo Credit: agentparanoia via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: agentparanoia via Compfight cc

On the other hand, we all have experiences that create and develop irrational fears. These are the bad or misplaced fears in our lives. Painful past memories or situations cause us to anticipate a similar negative experience. Irrational fears keep us frozen in place and rob the energy from our dreams.